If I Had Legs I’d Kick You15

Directed by Mary Bronstein | USA | 2025 | 1h 53m | Starring Rose Byrne, Conan O’Brien, A$AP Rocky, Danielle Macdonald, Christian Slater

Linda’s world is unraveling. She struggles to care for her mysteriously ill child, cope with an absent husband, and manage a tense, escalating conflict with her therapist. Adding to her stress, a sudden hole has appeared in her bedroom ceiling, flooding her entire home. In Mary Bronstein’s darkly comic exploration of modern womanhood, anxieties take on a nightmarish intensity, brought to life by Rose Byrne in a dazzling performance (nominated for Best Actress at this year’s Oscars) as a mother whose hold on reality begins to fray in breathtaking fashion. 

Reviews

‘The kind of film in which the things that should be scary are funny, and the things that should be funny are terrifying. The premise itself is every parent’s worst nightmare, but it’s shaped in a way that makes it feel like a cosmic joke.’
★★★★★
David Ehrlich, IndieWire

‘Pulse-racing to the point of being unwatchable… in the best possible sense. Unlike anything else you’ll see this year – essential in-cinema viewing.’
★★★★★
Lucy Peters, Little White Lies

Sorry - you missed it!

We showed If I Had Legs I’d Kick You between March 6, 2026 and March 20, 2026.

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What else is on?

Today (Monday 13th April)

18:00

Ashes and Diamonds 12A
1h 50m | Polish w/ English subtitles
A Polish resistance fighter questions his deadly mission in post-war Poland. Andrzej Wajda’s classic drama features Zbigniew Cybulski’s iconic performance, exploring love, duty, and a nation’s uncertain future. Part of Kinoteka On Tour – Polish Film Festival.

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20:30

The Love That Remains 15
1h 49m | Icelandic w/ English subtitles
Anna and Magnús raise three children in rural Iceland, but cracks in their marriage begin to appear. Acclaimed director Hlynur Pálmason (Godland) crafts a warm and quietly humorous portrait of family life unfolding across seasons of the vast Icelandic landscape.

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Tomorrow (Tuesday 14th April)

17:30

La Grazia 12A
£6 for Members
2h 13m | Italian w/ English subtitles
As the end of his presidency approaches, Italian leader Mariano De Santis faces difficult political and personal choices. Paolo Sorrentino (The Great Beauty) directs a sweeping drama about power and freedom, featuring Toni Servillo in an award-winning performance.

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20:30

The Good Boy 15
£6 for Members / HOH subtitles
1h 50m
Tommy, a reckless nineteen-year-old, is abducted after a night of drugs and partying and wakes imprisoned in a remote Yorkshire basement. Stephen Graham and Andrea Riseborough star in this fresh, unsettlingly twisted thriller.

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Plan your visit

Our beautiful art deco inspired auditorium can be found just off East Oxford's Cowley Road.We are open 7 days a week. We open the cinema and box office 30 minutes before the scheduled start time of each film, and the Box Office then closes 10 minutes after the film starts. We only show a few adverts – less than most cinemas – and we only play a couple of trailers, so please don’t be late as the film itself starts very close to the advertised time!