If I Had Legs I’d Kick You15

Directed by Mary Bronstein | USA | 2025 | 1h 53m | Starring Rose Byrne, Conan O’Brien, A$AP Rocky, Danielle Macdonald, Christian Slater

Linda’s world is unraveling. She struggles to care for her mysteriously ill child, cope with an absent husband, and manage a tense, escalating conflict with her therapist. Adding to her stress, a sudden hole has appeared in her bedroom ceiling, flooding her entire home. In Mary Bronstein’s darkly comic exploration of modern womanhood, anxieties take on a nightmarish intensity, brought to life by Rose Byrne in a dazzling performance (nominated for Best Actress at this year’s Oscars) as a mother whose hold on reality begins to fray in breathtaking fashion. 

Reviews

‘The kind of film in which the things that should be scary are funny, and the things that should be funny are terrifying. The premise itself is every parent’s worst nightmare, but it’s shaped in a way that makes it feel like a cosmic joke.’
★★★★★
David Ehrlich, IndieWire

‘Pulse-racing to the point of being unwatchable… in the best possible sense. Unlike anything else you’ll see this year – essential in-cinema viewing.’
★★★★★
Lucy Peters, Little White Lies

Sorry - you missed it!

We showed If I Had Legs I’d Kick You between March 6, 2026 and March 20, 2026.

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What else is on?

Today (Thursday 13th August)

14:30

The Invite 15
1h 47m
Joe and Angela's shaky marriage faces its biggest test yet when dinner with their enigmatic upstairs neighbours takes a wild turn. Rashida Jones's razor-sharp script and Olivia Wilde's direction fuel this riotous relationship comedy, with Seth Rogen, Penélope Cruz and Edward Norton on scene-stealing form.

Book here

17:00

The Odyssey 15
2h 52m
Odysseus, King of Ithaca, journeys home after the Trojan War, confronting vengeful gods and monstrous trials along the way. Christopher Nolan adapts Homer's epic, starring Matt Damon as Odysseus, alongside Tom Holland, Zendaya and Robert Pattinson.

Book here

20:30

Blackbird 15
1h 28m
Oxford Bad Film Club are proud to present Michael Flatley’s Blackbird. In his legendary 2018 vanity project, Michael Flatley plays a retired spy who wears many hats but must face up to his past when confronted by an old flame.

Book here


Tomorrow (Friday 14th August)

15:15

The Summer Book PG
1h 35m
Eight-year-old Sophia spends the summer with her father and grandmother on their family island in Finland's Gulf, all three grieving her mother's recent death. Directed by Charlie McDowell and starring Glenn Close, this quiet drama adapts Tove Jansson's novel.

Book here

17:30

The Odyssey 15
2h 52m
Odysseus, King of Ithaca, journeys home after the Trojan War, confronting vengeful gods and monstrous trials along the way. Christopher Nolan adapts Homer's epic, starring Matt Damon as Odysseus, alongside Tom Holland, Zendaya and Robert Pattinson.

Book here

21:00

Jazz on a Summer's Day U
1h 23m
Bert Stern's 1958 concert film documents the Newport Jazz Festival, widely considered the first feature-length music documentary. It captures performances by Thelonious Monk, Louis Armstrong and Mahalia Jackson, forming a portrait of America on the cusp of the Kennedy era.

Book here


Plan your visit

Our beautiful art deco inspired auditorium can be found just off East Oxford's Cowley Road.We are open 7 days a week. We open the cinema and box office 30 minutes before the scheduled start time of each film, and the Box Office then closes 10 minutes after the film starts. We only show a few adverts – less than most cinemas – and we only play a couple of trailers, so please don’t be late as the film itself starts very close to the advertised time!