If I Had Legs I’d Kick You15

Directed by Mary Bronstein | USA | 2025 | 1h 53m | Starring Rose Byrne, Conan O’Brien, A$AP Rocky, Danielle Macdonald, Christian Slater

Linda’s world is unraveling. She struggles to care for her mysteriously ill child, cope with an absent husband, and manage a tense, escalating conflict with her therapist. Adding to her stress, a sudden hole has appeared in her bedroom ceiling, flooding her entire home. In Mary Bronstein’s darkly comic exploration of modern womanhood, anxieties take on a nightmarish intensity, brought to life by Rose Byrne in a dazzling performance (nominated for Best Actress at this year’s Oscars) as a mother whose hold on reality begins to fray in breathtaking fashion. 

Reviews

‘The kind of film in which the things that should be scary are funny, and the things that should be funny are terrifying. The premise itself is every parent’s worst nightmare, but it’s shaped in a way that makes it feel like a cosmic joke.’
★★★★★
David Ehrlich, IndieWire

‘Pulse-racing to the point of being unwatchable… in the best possible sense. Unlike anything else you’ll see this year – essential in-cinema viewing.’
★★★★★
Lucy Peters, Little White Lies

Sorry - you missed it!

We showed If I Had Legs I’d Kick You between March 6, 2026 and March 20, 2026.

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What else is on?

Today (Wednesday 26th August)

14:00

The Odyssey 15
2h 52m
Odysseus, King of Ithaca, journeys home after the Trojan War, confronting vengeful gods and monstrous trials along the way. Christopher Nolan adapts Homer's epic, starring Matt Damon as Odysseus, alongside Tom Holland, Zendaya and Robert Pattinson.

Book here

17:30

Love Me Tender 15
2h 14m | French w/ English subtitles
After her divorce, writer Clémence begins dating women, exploring her sexuality for the first time. When her ex-husband finds out, he cuts off access to their son, sparking a custody battle. Adapted from Constance Debré's novel, starring Vicky Krieps.

Book here

20:30

David Byrne's American Utopia 12A
1h 46m
David Byrne, former Talking Heads frontman, reflects on human connection in this concert film based on his Broadway show. Directed by Spike Lee, it blends music and dance into immersive cinema, featuring solo work and Talking Heads classics.

Book here


Tomorrow (Thursday 27th August)

15:00

The Summer Book PG
1h 35m
Eight-year-old Sophia spends the summer with her father and grandmother on their family island in Finland's Gulf, all three grieving her mother's recent death. Directed by Charlie McDowell and starring Glenn Close, this quiet drama adapts Tove Jansson's novel.

Book here

17:45

The Summer Book PG
1h 35m
Eight-year-old Sophia spends the summer with her father and grandmother on their family island in Finland's Gulf, all three grieving her mother's recent death. Directed by Charlie McDowell and starring Glenn Close, this quiet drama adapts Tove Jansson's novel.

Book here

20:00

The Odyssey 15
2h 52m
Odysseus, King of Ithaca, journeys home after the Trojan War, confronting vengeful gods and monstrous trials along the way. Christopher Nolan adapts Homer's epic, starring Matt Damon as Odysseus, alongside Tom Holland, Zendaya and Robert Pattinson.

Book here


Plan your visit

Our beautiful art deco inspired auditorium can be found just off East Oxford's Cowley Road.We are open 7 days a week. We open the cinema and box office 30 minutes before the scheduled start time of each film, and the Box Office then closes 10 minutes after the film starts. We only show a few adverts – less than most cinemas – and we only play a couple of trailers, so please don’t be late as the film itself starts very close to the advertised time!