If I Had Legs I’d Kick You15

Directed by Mary Bronstein | USA | 2025 | 1h 53m | Starring Rose Byrne, Conan O’Brien, A$AP Rocky, Danielle Macdonald, Christian Slater

Linda’s world is unraveling. She struggles to care for her mysteriously ill child, cope with an absent husband, and manage a tense, escalating conflict with her therapist. Adding to her stress, a sudden hole has appeared in her bedroom ceiling, flooding her entire home. In Mary Bronstein’s darkly comic exploration of modern womanhood, anxieties take on a nightmarish intensity, brought to life by Rose Byrne in a dazzling performance (nominated for Best Actress at this year’s Oscars) as a mother whose hold on reality begins to fray in breathtaking fashion. 

Reviews

‘The kind of film in which the things that should be scary are funny, and the things that should be funny are terrifying. The premise itself is every parent’s worst nightmare, but it’s shaped in a way that makes it feel like a cosmic joke.’
★★★★★
David Ehrlich, IndieWire

‘Pulse-racing to the point of being unwatchable… in the best possible sense. Unlike anything else you’ll see this year – essential in-cinema viewing.’
★★★★★
Lucy Peters, Little White Lies

Sorry - you missed it!

We showed If I Had Legs I’d Kick You between March 6, 2026 and March 20, 2026.

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What else is on?

Today (Tuesday 9th June)

18:00

Ackroyd & Harvey Art of Activism 12A
£6 for Members + Intro
1h 17m
Heather Ackroyd and Dan Harvey’s internationally acclaimed collaborative art responds to the climate crisis through striking ecological works. Fiona Cunningham-Reid’s documentary explores their practice at the intersection of art, activism and biology. Screening plus introduction.

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20:15

The Christophers 15
£6 for Members
1h 40m
A reclusive London artist (Ian McKellen) becomes the target of a scheme by his estranged children, who recruit a young painter (Michaela Coel) to infiltrate his home and uncover hidden works. Steven Soderbergh’s darkly comic chamber piece explores deception, legacy and artistic value.

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Tomorrow (Wednesday 10th June)

14:45

Rose of Nevada 15
1h 54m
When a long-lost fishing boat returns to a Cornish village, hope rises for renewal. Nick and newcomer Liam join a voyage, but return transformed and caught in a haunting time loop. Shot on grainy 16mm, Mark Jenkin (Bait) delivers a haunting, mind-bending folktale.

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17:30

Orphan 15
2h 13m | Hungarian w/ English subtitles
In Budapest, 1957, a Jewish boy awaiting his father’s return from the camps is confronted by a mysterious man claiming to be his real parent. Oscar-winner László Nemes (Son of Saul) directs this powerful drama about identity, trauma and postwar Hungary.

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20:30

Reflection in a Dead Diamond 15
1h 27m | French & Italian w/ English subtitles
When a mysterious woman vanishes from the room next door, an ageing former spy living on the Côte d’Azur is drawn back into a world of fractured memories and buried secrets. Hélène Cattet and Bruno Forzani’s stylised thriller blends espionage, psychological intrigue and grindhouse homage.

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Plan your visit

Our beautiful art deco inspired auditorium can be found just off East Oxford's Cowley Road.We are open 7 days a week. We open the cinema and box office 30 minutes before the scheduled start time of each film, and the Box Office then closes 10 minutes after the film starts. We only show a few adverts – less than most cinemas – and we only play a couple of trailers, so please don’t be late as the film itself starts very close to the advertised time!